Katya
The other day as I drove down the road, it hit me...the children I had prayed for and longed for are here with me now. The last 7 1/2 months have been a whirlwind, and I don't stop to think about how amazing God has been often enough. The daily grind steals me of this joy most days. I feel like life is moving so fast that I can't catch up. But it is amazing to stop and reflect on what God has done.
Little did I know, God would use this little girl to show me how inadequate I truly am. He would use her to make me more like himself. Katya's personality is the total opposite of mine. I'm quiet and I think things through before I speak. Katya is loud and she speaks everything that comes to her mind with no filter. As you can imagine, we have our moments. Many times I fail terribly at parenting her. I ask God and her to forgive me and I start over and try to grow from each experience. God is definitely teaching me patience through it all.
In addition to patience, she is also teaching me selflessness. Now I'm not always a perfect student when it comes to learning selflessness, but I am getting better. When I first told Jason I wanted to adopt a child with special needs, I really didn't have a clue what I would have to sacrifice. Yes, we talked about it but I really didn't have a clue. But I knew God was pulling my heart to make this sacrifice regardless of the cost. Every time we have a doctor visit and another item is added to her daily routine I often think how can I juggle everything. But somehow we get through it all. My house may be a disaster and dinner may sometimes be cereal but somehow we survive.
I've heard comments from friends and family that praise us for adopting Katya and Brody. But if you could only see the battle that goes on inside myself each day, you'd know it is not me at all. It is all God. I alone am selfish. I need God to constantly change my focus off of myself. The only thing I have is filthy rags. My prayer is that God will form me into a mother that displays many of his attributes in every moment, both the seen and the unseen. Oh to be holy, wise, faithful, loving, merciful, good, gracious and comforting to my children in all I do. That is what I strive for as a mother.
Little did I know, God would use this little girl to show me how inadequate I truly am. He would use her to make me more like himself. Katya's personality is the total opposite of mine. I'm quiet and I think things through before I speak. Katya is loud and she speaks everything that comes to her mind with no filter. As you can imagine, we have our moments. Many times I fail terribly at parenting her. I ask God and her to forgive me and I start over and try to grow from each experience. God is definitely teaching me patience through it all.
In addition to patience, she is also teaching me selflessness. Now I'm not always a perfect student when it comes to learning selflessness, but I am getting better. When I first told Jason I wanted to adopt a child with special needs, I really didn't have a clue what I would have to sacrifice. Yes, we talked about it but I really didn't have a clue. But I knew God was pulling my heart to make this sacrifice regardless of the cost. Every time we have a doctor visit and another item is added to her daily routine I often think how can I juggle everything. But somehow we get through it all. My house may be a disaster and dinner may sometimes be cereal but somehow we survive.
I've heard comments from friends and family that praise us for adopting Katya and Brody. But if you could only see the battle that goes on inside myself each day, you'd know it is not me at all. It is all God. I alone am selfish. I need God to constantly change my focus off of myself. The only thing I have is filthy rags. My prayer is that God will form me into a mother that displays many of his attributes in every moment, both the seen and the unseen. Oh to be holy, wise, faithful, loving, merciful, good, gracious and comforting to my children in all I do. That is what I strive for as a mother.
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