Letters to my Children...

Kayta Ruth

I remember the first time I saw your sweet little face. It was exactly two years ago. I saw this sweet little girl in a pink dress with a boyish haircut sitting beside a huge stuffed animal. You had this huge smile. At that moment I knew what God was wanting us to do. I immediately knew the first time I saw you that you were meant to be our daughter. I didn't know anything about you, other than a brief description listed beside your photo. But somehow I knew you were meant to be ours. Eight months later, I carried you and your younger brother out of the orphanage you had spent your entire life at. You were our child now. There were so many uncertainties along the way, but I knew that if God meant for us to have you then there was nothing that could stop it from happening.

Oh, the words to describe you...you are full of life. You LOVE to talk, sing and "mother" other little kids. You are kind and caring. You are confident and you flourish in routine. Your life has been full of pain, both physically and emotionally, but you handle it with a huge smile most of the time. In your eyes you are like everyone else.

 I have learned so much from you, but probably the greatest lesson God is trying to teach me through you is Selflessness. My life is not about me. It's about others seeing God through my words and actions. I fail at demonstrating this to you so much but God is constantly reminding me of my need for selflessness. Everyday you grow and learn more. It's so exciting to see what God has in store for you. My prayer is that I use godly wisdom in raising you and that one day you come to the place in your life that you realize your need for the Savior. 

What if I had not listened to God's voice when I first saw your picture? You wouldn't be here with us today. This year you would have been sent to a long term facility for mentally and physically disabled children and adults where you would have likely spent the rest of your life. Locked away from the rest of the world. I know God has big plans for you. I'm so grateful I listened to God's voice. You have forever changed my life for the better.
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Clark Stephen

What would I do without my Clark? You made me a mother for the first time. I remember the first time you were placed in my arms, an incredible love overcame me. I was overwhelmed by the fact that God had created this beautiful little boy from us.  You have brought so much joy into our lives. I thank God for giving us the gift of you.

Words to describe you...You are the most compassionate child I have ever met. You are constantly concerned about others. Now you have your selfish times but deep down inside you have a love and concern for others. You have so much energy and you don't like to sit still unless you are doing something you want to do. You love to draw and create things. You want to be just like your daddy. You grasp things well beyond your years. I can talk to you about deep issues and you listen and ask questions. I love this! Right now the thing that melts my heart the most is watching you and your siblings grow. It is awesome to watch you learn new things. 

God has taught me so many things through you. Probably the greatest lesson God has taught me is Compassion. Your compassion for others is amazing and you are daily teaching me to be more compassionate. I pray that I am a godly mother to you as you grow and that you see Christ in all my words and actions. I pray that you come to the place where you realize your need for Christ's redemption. You are getting so close. I know the Holy Spirit is working on you. I know that God has amazing plans for you. I can't wait to see what He has in store for you. You have forever changed my life for the better.

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Brody Nazar

I remember the first time I saw your sweet little face. It was exactly two years ago. I saw this adorable little baby boy in a red striped outfit.  You had these beautiful brown eyes. At that moment I knew what God was wanting us to do. I immediately knew the first time I saw you that you were meant to be our son. I didn't know anything about you, other than a brief description listed beside your photo. But somehow I knew you were meant to be ours.  I remember the day we met you for the first time. You came running into the room, full of energy with your gorgeous curls bouncing. I was so in love! Eight months later, I carried you and your older sister out of the orphanage you had spent most of your young life at. You were now our child. As a newborn you endured things that are so horrible I can't even mention them. But you were strong and you survived. God had a special purpose for your young life. 

Oh, the words to describe you...you are energetic, affectionate, very observant, and you love to get into everything (this gets you into a lot of trouble...you nearly burnt down the house a couple of days ago) You love to help out, whether it is cleaning, picking up, or helping with mama's chores. I can see you growing up to become a mechanic or something very detail related. You are very smart and you love to play outside. You are full of life and you keep us on our toes.

God is teaching me so many things through you. Probably the greatest lesson is Patience. Although you are very bright, you are slow to learn things. Once you learn you don't forget easily though. This is often hard for me because I am not naturally a patient person. My prayer is that one day you come to the place in your life that you realize your need for the Savior. I pray everyday that God will help me be a godly mother to you. Full of patience, kindness...well pretty much all of the fruits of the Spirit. I fail so many times but each day I ask for forgiveness and start over through God's amazing grace.

What if I had not listened to God's leading when I first saw your picture? You wouldn't be here with us today. This year you would have been separated from your sister and you probably wouldn't have ever seen her ever again. I know God has big plans for you. I'm so grateful I listened to God's voice. You have forever changed my life for the better.

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Callie Emmaline

God knew we needed you. Oh, the life you have brought into our world. From the first day you enter the world you have known exactly what you wanted and you never settled for anything less. A few months before I became pregnant with you I had my first miscarriage. Although I grieve the loss of that precious child, I know that if I hadn't miscarried, you wouldn't be here today. God's ways are so much higher than our own. He always knows what is best for us. You are growing into such a beautiful little girl. We love you so very much.

Words to describe you...You LOVE to sing! This is probably your favorite thing to do. You are full of attitude and a million facial expressions. You are so smart, but you will only do things if you want to. This should make our school days challenging. You are so affectionate and you love to cuddle. If you're tired, you simply lay down and go to sleep wherever you might be...on the floor, sitting up, in someone's lap, wherever. You rarely go a day without a nap even though mama doesn't make you go down for a nap much anymore.

God has taught me so many things through you. Probably the greatest lesson God is teaching me through you is Perseverance. You don't back down when you want something. You keep at it until you get it. I pray that God forms me into the godly mother He wants me to be for you. I pray that I do the best job possible raising you. Most importantly I pray that you will one day come to follow Jesus as your Lord and Savior. I know that God has amazing plans for you sweet girl. I can't wait to see what he has in store for you. You have forever changed my life for the better.